The past century of the car has served up many machines that make you wonder “why?” The Cadillac Cimarron, the Nissan Murano CrossCabriolet, the Edsel. However, every so often a car comes along that’s so ridiculous, it just makes you grin. Something like the quickest production minivan of all time, one with an AMG badge and an absolute titan of an engine.
In the luxury car realm, the 2000s were the decade of the naturally aspirated V8. From the 8,000 RPM screamers in the Audi RS4 and BMW M3 to the chest-beating small-block V8 in the original Cadillac CTS-V, the Amex Platinum crowd was hooked on cross-plane muscle. Arguably the craziest engine from this time period was the Mercedes-Benz M156 V8, a juggernaut in every metric.
We’re talking up to 518 horsepower without any forced induction, relying on a heavyweight 6.2 liters of displacement. The same volume as a Corvette’s LS3, except the LS3 didn’t have overhead cams. Torquey, linear, and physically huge, the M156 quickly found its way under the hoods of cars like the CLK 63 AMG, and somewhere along the line, AMG decided to escalate the laugh.
Aside from a subtle body kit, big wheels, quad exhaust tips, and a badge, the R63 AMG didn’t shout its lunacy from the rooftops.
You almost want to believe that someone in Affalterbach, perhaps over a few pints, started to wonder what the funniest vehicle they could shoehorn an M156 into. A tiny B-Class or smart fortwo was out of the question entirely, but this was the second half of the 2000s, and Mercedes-Benz had an obvious contender. The R-Class shared a platform, engine lineup, all-wheel-drive system, and assembly plant with the M-Class SUV, meaning most of the important bits from an ML 63 AMG should bolt up. The difference? The R-Class was effectively a minivan.
Running With M3s and Black Series Coupes (In a Minivan)
Maybe it was a Friday when the project got approved, maybe it was on a dare, but in 2006, the R 63 AMG rolled onto the floor at the Detroit auto show, and it was gloriously ridiculous. We’re talking about a 508-horsepower minivan that could sprint from zero-to-100 km/h in 4.6 seconds. That’s quick today, but it was otherworldly in 2006. Not only was that a tie with the quickest BMW M3 of the day, the R63 AMG would keep on pulling to the end of a 250 km/h electronic leash. If that didn’t tickle your fancy, there was an option to relax the limiter to 275 km/h. Perfect for when the school run involves a de-restricted stretch of autobahn.
So, the quickest and fastest production minivan in the world, sharing an engine with the CLK 63 AMG Black Series and merely whispering its potency when parked up. Aside from a subtle body kit, big wheels, quad exhaust tips, and a badge, the R63 AMG didn’t shout its lunacy from the rooftops. While a BMW X5 4.8is was a turbonormie posturing as a gangster, AMG’s school bus seemed normal at first glance but was actually terminally unhinged.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, the global market for a super-minivan was microscopic. Only 322 lunatics plunked down big money for this extraordinarily elaborate practical joke on sports sedan-driving middle-managers, making the R 63 AMG rarer than a LaFerrari, or an Enzo, or a Lexus LFA. We’re talking about a genuine exotic here. Unsurprisingly, they don’t come up for sale especially often, but considering you can still pick one up for less than the price of a new Mustang, they’re a bit of a bargain for genuine AMG royalty.
